Don't Cry Your Heart Out Take Revenge!
by WriterOfEvil
Summary: Hunter has betrayed Morgan. Morgan is left broken and alone. Now what happens if a certain Father comes round and asks Morgan to join him in his quest for power and knowledge. Will she say yes, and if.. then what? Will Morgan kill Hunter?
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sweep, nor do I get money out of writing this...  
hey people, this is my first Sweep story so bare with me please. Also English isn't my native language, so there might be a few gramma and spellings fault in this. I'll try to keep them at a minimum as best as possible though. Thing is I started reading Sweep just a few weeks ago and well I have to admit was hooked from the start. I loved the stories and am very anxious to find out how things will proceed in time.  
My favorite character I do have to say is Ciaran McEwan, that is why this story is about him and of course Morgan, and whomever I see fit to be in it in the near future. I just was grabbed by the way Ciaran asked Morgan to choose between him and the rest. I wonder who the story would have progressed when she had said yes to him, guess that's what this story is kinda be going about.  
I'm gonna set my mind free on this page, and you just tell me what you think of it.. ok... well.. hope you enjoy it... first few chaps won't be that shocking I guess... just bare with me ok...

* * *

**Intro.  
**

God I miss you….  
Why did you do this to me?  
I thought we belonged together  
Always…

My _Muirn Beatha dan…  
_I need you Hunter  
I need you like the sun needs the moon  
I need you like the night needs the day  
An angel needs his wings  
Oh hunter, why did you betray me?

Hot tears run down my face, as I'm taken back to how good all once was.  
How right it felt with you by my side  
Why did you go to that bitch!  
Come to think of it, why did I ever let you go to Canada?  
I'm actually glad you stopped me that night  
How could I ever give my virginity to the likes of you!

_Oh Father..._

Nobody can see me like this  
I'm a total mess  
What will my family say? or Mary K?  
_Oh Poor Morgan, she doesn't seem to be made to have a boyfriend…  
_God that stings…

I hate you Hunter!  
I hate you with the utmost intensity  
I ball my fists till my knuckles become white.  
Inside my chest my heart is broken  
I'm all but a faint glow of my former self  
All I want to do now is scream.  
Scream and release all the pain with it.....

* * *

"_Morgan?_"  
"_Morgan, what's wrong?"_

I suddenly freeze as I hear that familiar deep melodic voice.  
No!  
It can't be!  
Not now!  
Not here! Not with me in this state!

_"Morgan, what's wrong?"  
_He takes a step towards me,

_"Morgan, answer me right now!"  
_I look down at my hands only to find I'm shaking uncontrollably  
How did he find me?  
Had he been watching me all this time?  
Or had I sent him a witch message without knowing it?

There standing behind me was none other then Ciaran McEwan, my father by blood.  
The same Ciaran McEwan who leads the coven of Amyranth  
Who summoned the Dark Wave numerous times  
Who killed many innocent witches all over the world and taken there power  
Whom even killed his own muirn beatha dan  
My Mother: Maeve Riordan

Had he now come back to finish the job by killing me too?

To be continued....


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

disclaimer: People I do not own Sweep, nor do I get money out of it. If I did Ciaran would have not been stripped of his powers and wouold not be dead. I also would like to thank my two reviewers... thank you for your kind words, so for you the next part is up and running so soon.  
Thanks again...

* * *

**I Feel You.**

"_Morgan, answer me right now! Have you any idea what…."  
_I was shaking when I turned to face him, my appearance instantly leaving him at a lack of words. The face that was normally so inscrutable, was now filled with confusion, concern and a tad of anger. I could only guess on what was going through this man's head right now.

Then our eyes met, those familiar almond shaped, light brown colored eyes, and my knees gave out from under me.  
I was tired, my hair was clinging to my cheeks, my eyes were puffy and swollen. I must have looked ghastly, but at that moment I did not care. The only thing I wanted, or needed was help.

_"Morgan what happened? Who has done this to you?" _The question hung in the air for sometime as I struggled to get it out..

_"It was Hunter....he…..he betrayed me with another."_ And the walls broke once more, more tears spilled out.

"_Oh Morgan, my dear sweet Morgan"_ Ciaran spoke before quickly kneeling down beside me and pulling me close. I suddenly had a flashback to the time when I so easily had broken down right in front of him, that night when I had met him at the Methodist graveyard. That was the first time he truly had taken me in his arms, and pulled me against the rough tweed of his jacket. He had gently brushed my hair and whispered soothing words to me. And strangly enough it had helpt.  
"_Tell me everything. Let me help you"_ His warm breathe, how welcome were those comforting arms of Ciaran around me back then? And I realised, as I took hold of him now, that I needed them just as much this moment as I had back then.

_"The International Council of Witches had ordered Hunter to go to Canada, to do some investigation on a witch called had to find out of she was doing things that the Council did not approave of. It turned out she did not, and..and..and Hunter kissed her. He even liked it, knowing fully well that I was back home waiting for him to return...." _I broke down yet another time.

"_Come, I'll take you home Morgan"_ Ciaran was ready to pick me up, when his sudden words of 'home' struck a sudden fear inside my heart.

"_NO!"_ Beside me Ciaran froze, and eyed me suspiciously for a moment.  
"_Please, not now. Not tonight, I can't…"_ I didn't know how to tell him, I wasn't even sure what I meant. I just feared the reaction of my parents and little sister.  
A little tensed I watched as Ciaran seemed to be thinking this over.  
Somewhere inside me my mind was screaming, it was trying to reason with me that going home was way better then going home with Ciaran.  
Oh Goddess this man could easily…

_"Fine, but then you're coming home with me. I'm not leaving you on your own now"  
"No time for questions now, I want you to close your eyes and not to open them for I tell you to" _I did as he said. I closed my eyes and held on to him. Ciaran muttered a few words I hadn't heard before, but could feel they contained power, and before I knew it there was wind all over. When I was allowed to open my eyes again the wind was gone, and we were standing in front of a tiny house which looked slightly familair. He managed to open the door without his hands, set me down on the nearest chair and threw me a blanket. I watched as Ciaran disappeared into another room, leaving me alone on the living room couch. And my memories traveled back to Hunter and…Justine, as he had called her. Sweet, intelligent, beautiful Justine Courceau. I felt my heart broke but yet again. Oh Goddess, will I ever get over this heartache?

Somewhere in the background I heard water running, and a kettle being put on the fire. A cupboard slammed shut and the clacking noise of bottle hitting each other was heard.  
It took me sometime to notice I was back in the house I had visited a few weeks ago, when I found Sky Eventide, Hunters cousin, drunk, with Killian McEwan, Ciaran's youngest son. They were behaving shamelessly at the time. You see Raven Meltzer and Sky Eventide had been in a relationship, but they broken up with each other thanks to Killian. Apparently Raven liked Killian and Sky was jealous. Well, at that time The Council had thought it a great idea to put a watch sigil on Ciaran, so they would know where he was and what he was doing all the time. Anyways the Council had figured I could plant that watch Sigil on Ciaran, seeing as he apparently held a small weakness for me. So through Killian I had to become closer to Ciaran, so he would start to trust me. To my surpirse the plan even worked, and I was able to put a watch sigil on him. It appeared to be the most prefect tool with which they finally had been able to catch him.  
Before he escaped again.....  
Yes, a great IDEA!!  
But then again hadn't The Council come up with more great ideas? I was beginning to hate this Council more and more every minute. They cost me Hunter and my heart.

"Morgan?" I was brought back to reality by the sound of that full timbre of his.  
I noticed he was carrying a couple of tiny bottles, which he now placed on the coffee table in front of me.

He shot me a compassionate look, telling me silently he knew very well what I was going through. Of course He had been there with my Mother, only in slightly different circumstances. He then pulled out a bowl out of now where and went to work. There were five tiny bottles from which he each took three tablespoons. Back in what appeared to be the kitchen the kettle had started to ask for attention, and Ciaran asked me if I could go and get it. At the same time he threw the five herbs and spices inside the large bowl and offered me the job of pouring the boiling water over it. Almost instantly I could smell the strong scent of different herbs come floating to me from across the room. Taking the kettle out of my hands, he waited once again for me to get settled on the couch, before pulling out a chair in front of me, for himself.

After fifteen minutes he suddenly pulled out a teapot and a sieve and put it next to the bowl on the table. Then he poured the liquid into it, carefully separated the water from the rest of the herbs and threw the rest away. Placing two cups on the table he carefully poured one of the both of us.

_"Here drink this, it'll make you feel better" _He pushed one of the cups towards me and took the other in his own hands. I guess he saw me eyeing the cup suspiciously because he said: "_I'm not trying to poison you if you're thinking that_." As to show me he wasn't he took a zip from the cup he was holding and swallowed it. _"Perfectly Fine"_  
I could feel my cheeks heat up, and hoped to God, Ciaran did not notice my embarrassment, and for I indeed had been questioning myself with the slightest possibility he was trying to poison me. Closing my eyes I took a deep breath and took in the scent. A few seconds later I tried to clear my head and whispered to it _"Show me your secrets"_

All this time, Ciaran was watching me, intrigued on what the out come would be. I was shocked when I opened my eyes, to find him so perfectly still and fixed on me that I wasn't sure what to do or say next. "Tell me, what did you find out?" Ciaran leaned closer, placing both his elbows on his knees and his hands just below his face in the shape of a temple.

"Mhh let me check" I took another sniff before answering him, wanting to be quite sure before I told him. "I smell Lime, Chamomile, bit of Passion flower, Orange and I believe Siberian ginseng root" As I spoke my finding I watched Ciaran's reaction, but found out he hadn't moved. It was like he was somewhere else, lost in his own thoughts and memories. After a few more zips I carefully placed the cup back on the table, finally drawing Ciaran out of his own world.

"Perfect, but it was Orange peel, instead of just Orange. Orange peel is a tad bitter then Orange, but at the same time they both only provide the flavour inside this cup of tea. I draw it mostly when I need to calm down a bit, or in this case you need to calm down.

Come to think of it, I did feel calm. I hadn't felt this came in months, and certainly not within three feet of my father. Somehow that thought should have alarmed me but it did not. No, I felt right at home as I refilled my cup and drank some more. I don't know when I fell asleep but I eventually did right there on the couch. If my father had any intention of killing me, right now would be the perfect time…


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Sweep. If I did Ciaran would not have lost his powers, and he would be on every page in all the books. He's well....WOW  
I know pretty sick perhaps but hey he's mysterious/evil and very...sweet in some strange twisted way. If you've got his love you'll be sure to keep it. You'll be sure he would hurt anyone who dare raise his hand at you. Not that we girls need that... but its good to know that we are protected when needed. Ok, Ciaran is a bit over the top but it never hurts to dream or can it??? X_X

--------------------------

**Dreams can tell us the world.**

What do you believe in when you find yourself on the edge of darkness and light?  
How will your next actions affect the outcome between good and evil?  
And what might be good in your eyes might be evil in the eyes of others…  
Where should we draw the line?

~*Dreaming*~

_The edge of darkness and light was where I found myself when I opened my eyes.  
With my left foot covered in darkness and my right in the light of the sun,  
I can't help but wonder what is going on. Goddess where am I? What is this suppose to mean?  
I blink again and the scenery changes._

_This time I find myself inside a large spelunk, with fire covering almost the entire ground.  
With one little exception for a small stone path which leads straight through the center towards a somewhat larger platform.  
And there in the centre of the platform stood a stranger dressed from head to toe in nothing but black robes.  
A large hood hiding his facially features, making it a mystery to whom this person was.  
For a moment I thought out eyes met, thought I could never be sure.  
We stood there for a little while not moving, and then out of nowhere his voice suddenly broke through the silence._

"_Come"  
It was a simple word, yet so strangely alluring, that I was taken back by his request._

"_Pardon?" I replied_

"_Come to me Morgan"  
My eyes widened slightly, this man, for that was what his voice told me, knew my name.  
He offered me his hand. "Don't be afraid, Come…" he spoke again._

_I begin to move towards him when another voice coming from the other direction stops me in my tracks._

"_MORGAN STOP!!"  
"Please Morgan come back to us, don't go…"  
Is that Bree? I turn around to find everybody standing there on another platform.  
All my family, friends and my one true love… Hunter. Inside my chest my heart takes a deep plunge.  
I still hate him from what he has done to me and yet he stand there begging for me to come to him, like nothing has happened!  
This can't be right...  
Now what should I do??  
Behind me my loved ones, and a save haven.  
In front of me the stranger, and a life filled with uncertainties and adventure.  
How can I choose between what I already know, and what I don't?  
Wait perhaps I do know..._

_My eyes stray away from my friends who keep calling me back, even begging me to go towards them,  
while in front of me the stranger is still, unmoving.  
So intriguing...  
So inviting, someone who doesn't tell me what to do.  
Like my parents and friends always telling me what to do,  
and Hunter who tells me what I should not do.  
A person can only take so much.  
The ever lasting screaming and begging slowly starts to annoy me. I can't think straight with them yelling in my ear.  
I wish I could simply push my hand to my ears and stop the noises, but I can't.  
And then s__uddenly as on signal their voices fade into the background and all that is left is the comforting silence._

_A heart warming laughter fills the room and my eyes shoot back to the person in front of me.  
This stranger seems to be holding me in its grasp just by looking at me  
Who does this man think he is?  
"Come to me…" he speak again._

_Somewhere something inside me clicks. Yes, I want to see, I want to know. I want to go to him.  
It feels like this sick kind of curiosity that has the power to drive you to the brink of madness.  
My feet have started to move on their own, slowly leaving the cries of the people I knew so well behind. Then I'm suddenly in front of him.  
My eyes shoot for the darkness in which his face is hidden, and to the hand he was extending towards me. I hesitate, but then my stubbornness takes over and tells me to just take a gamble for once. I smile weakly when my hand slips into his larger one, instantly making me feel a bit warmer and I know this feels good. I can't help but watch as he takes hold of both my hands and pulls me closer, draping his black cloak over my small form. "Good" that simple but majestic word makes me shiver. I notice this stranger is at least a foot taller than me, so was Hunter.  
Strange that I think this at such a time.  
His grip on my waist is firm but gently, as if saying 'I will not let go'_

_I can't help buy pull back at the sudden closeness.  
He notices my hesitation, am I really doing the right thing?  
Perhaps I should go back, back to my family and friends, whom I realize now, have become quiet._

"_Trust me" a whisper, a mere breathe of him.  
Like magic all thing holding me back fall off.  
I let go of my fears, and decide too take the risk, the unknown is waiting for me.  
Strong arms wrap themselves around my waits, and I feel myself doing the same to him but then around his neck.  
Suddenly the ground below our feet is gone and I quickly wrap my arms around his neck.  
For a moment I find myself slipping, in just a few minutes I'll be falling to my death.  
Oh Goddess no!  
Then he is there once more, pulling my attention back towards him, reassuring me that nothing is going to happen. I'm save….  
And together we fly towards the white light above us…_

***Awakening***

I woke up feeling relaxed and overly light-hearted.  
It seemed like last nights sleep did me better than expected. Carefully I let my eyes glide over the ceiling and the walls, where was I?  
What room was this? Apparently after I had fallen asleep I was moved to this room.  
My attention was averted back to the dreams that still clouded my thoughts, what had they meant.  
Surely nothing much, but being in this stranger's arms felt so good. Who was he?  
I wasn't fully sure but if I was correct this person could make me feel better then Hunter could.  
If that was even possible. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to recall even the smallest part of the dream, but it had vanished  
just as fast as it had appeared.

What did it mean....  
So many questions yet again…  
Would they ever stop?  
Then as suddenly as the dreams had entered my mind, the left again, and I was visited with the rawness of last night.  
Hunter...  
Ciaran.........  
I can't believe I actually fell asleep near Ciaran. The man could have easily killed me last night if he wanted to, especially after that sigil I had planted on him. Why didn't that cross my mind earlier? But apparently he had no intension to do so, so what are? What was he planning? And biggest question, why did he come to me last night, had I indeed called him without knowing it? Did he care for me?  
So many questions…

I had figured that somehow, someday, when I got older, life would become easier.  
Apparently, that also wasn't the plan. Uncertainties only seemed to grow as time progressed.  
Where was Ciaran at this moment?  
Was he still here? Was he waiting for me in the living room, ready to finish me off once and for all?  
I rolled over and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, sighting loudly I knew I was going to find out sooner of later. And when I would my poor nerves would finally be able to recover again. Of course my father would not kill me, the daughter of his one true love Maeve Riordan. Then again he did kill my mother. Another wave of uncertainty hit me, making me slightly nauseous, or perhaps that was just the lack of food in my system.  
I took a moment to scan the house with my heightened senses, but I didn't sense anyone, that must mean Ciaran was out. For how long?  
Instantly my mind went into overdrive, trying to figure out if it was best to get away, or to stay and wait till Ciaran came home. And then what?  
For now it was probably best I got out of bed, perhaps a nice shower to freshen me up and awaken me fully would be next.  
I yawned loudly as I dragged my ass off the bed and into the hallway, trying a couple of doors I soon found the bathroom.

It was a simple bathroom, mostly white, containing one toilet, one shower, a bath and a large mirror.  
Turning on the hot water I undressed and stepped in a few minutes later. Goddess I had almost forgotten how good a shower could feel.  
It was like the hot water massaged my tired muscles and clear the fog the still clung to the inside of my brain.  
After that I redressed, combed my hair with my fingers, for their was no comb to be found.  
That in fact was the weird part, the house held everything except the personal stuff. A toothbrush, clothing, a picture of loved ones.  
All that seemed to be less important, like it was only as stay for a while home, and nobody ever stayed the night or something.  
Otherwise it was damn unusual not to brush your teeth in the morning.

Downstairs I found some food on the table. two slices of bread, a can of diet coke and some cheese. At least someone took the  
liberty of buying me break fast. I had to remember to thank Ciaran later for that. Especially for the coke.  
I munched down the bread in a few minutes, before popping open my can of riches. Mhhh, nothing is better to start the day.  
My mind drifts back to the face Hunter would make when he saw me drink it in the morning.  
I hate Hunter  
Slumping down on the nearest couch I wonder what happened between the two of us to make him do such a thing.  
Sadly to know, I will never know the answer, for I will never talk to him again!  
My mind drifts further off to my parents and mary k, I can't help wonder what they are doing right now..I....

OMG! MOM!  
I didn't call her last night to let her know where I was!  
Shit I have to get home!  
Instantly I'm on my feet, stumbling making it to the door.  
I trip over the exit and almost land face forward on the small stone path that leads to the front door.  
Sprinting down the street I don't feel guilty for leaving the door open.  
The only thing on my mind was my mother. Knowing her she would have already called the police and everything.  
Hell if it was possible so soon she would have already gotten my face up on every milk carton in the next up coming five states.  
O Dear God  
I had to get home!

Totally out of breath and covered in sweat I arrived at home. I don't recall ever running that far, but this was what you would call a real emergency.  
No wait, disaster! Is a better word for it. Rushing in I nearly threw the door out of its hinges.

"Mom? Dad?"  
Behind me the door made a clicking noise as it fell in its lock.  
"Mary K?" No answer. "Anybody?"  
Where was everybody? The house looked practically deserted. Oh no, they were looking for me.  
MY little cat Dagda entered the room, rubbed himself a couple of times around my ankles and disappeared again. He always knows when I need to little cheering up.  
I would have expected an assault of overly protective mothers, angry fathers and crying sisters. Whom would be going on and on about my lack of responsibility of being on time, the fact of not having called, and course the fifty ways they already had pictured me dad.  
It seemed I'd worried over nothing….  
I quickly scanned the house to find out they really weren't home. It turned out they were not, and then it hit me.  
So there I sat at the kitchen table, shaking uncontrollably, the nerves were killing me.  
Ever waited for the verdict, the punishment to come, but not knowing it what form of when.  
Well it feels like nothing you've ever felt before. Mom and dad will be so pissed, I'll be grounded for live.  
If only I knew when they would come home, I would have time to come up with something...  
If only, I freeze....

I here car doors slamming shut. Voices coming towards the door, OMG here it comes. I close my eyes without even noticing, bracing myself for the terror to come. The front door opens, the voices reach my ears, and then my mom walks into the kitchen where I am currently hiding.

"Hey honey, good you're home! How was Bree's?" mom asked enthusiastically while kissing my cheek.  
She must have seen my confusion for she shot me one also.

"Bree's?" It just slipped past my lips. My mom turned around and shot me a funny look just as my dad walks into the kitchen.

"Of course dear, Bree's father called last night telling us you and Bree had fallen asleep while watching a movie. He just could get it over his heart to wake you guys up so let you sleep and called us instead so we wouldn't worry"  
My mom continued to blab on and I helped myself to a couple handfuls of pop tarts. It was best not to talk right now, and a full mouth would certainly keep me from it, or at least would keep my mom from understanding what I was saying. Now for the more serious part, I had to find out what she was talking about.

"I swear that mister Warren sounded different, I hope the poor dear isn't coming down with something." She kept going on like nothing was wrong. Was she really this thick, or did she just not want to see anything was amiss.  
Somewhere in between her rambling I excused myself and made my way up to my room.  
Apparently from what I had understood, someone had called home so my parents would not be freaked out by my staying away all night.  
And I had a pretty good guess in whom this person might have been... Ciaran.

Smart move. I had to thank him twice when we would meet again.  
That is, if we would meet again.  
I still wasn't sure about his motives and it seemed best for the time being that I stayed out of his way.  
At least until everything had died down again, and I had gotten over the immense lose of my life.  
Hunter...  
God how could he!  
After everything we had been through together, he still betrayed me.  
I suddenly realised mom hadn't noticed anything was troubling me. It was like she wasn't in there, like something more important  
had been on her mind. But what could have been more important then the welfare of her daughter?  
Strange...

Still dazed I sat there on my bed for a few minutes, how did I slip past that so easily. I just couldn't understand.  
I would have thought all hell would break lose but apparently no such thing happened. Lucky bastard I would label myself later.  
There was a sudden knock at my door making my thoughts come to a hold,  
And my sister Mary K popped her head around the door.  
There was something weird about the way she was standing there, looking at me. It was like she knew something I didn't, and was trying to figure  
something out. I fought the urge to run to the nearest mirror just to check if I'd hadn't sprouted another head just recently.

"What happened last night?" She suddenly asked. When I shot her a look that I didn't know what she was talking about she continued.  
"I know you were lying, and who ever called mom was not Bree's father. Bree was out with Robby the entire evening, I ran into them with Alisa  
and the others while we were out. We talked for a while..."

'Goddess she knew!'

"I know you're lying. Bree was out with Robby the entire night, I ran into them with Alisa and the others, we talked for a while…"  
Then she left closing the door behind her.  
She knew that something was a miss, she only didn't know what.  
What were the odds…  
Mary K, my own little sister knew that I was lying.

Oh Dear Goddess…


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own Sweep, I never will and hell if I did Ciaran would not have lost his powers!!  
And yes people this is a short one but i'm planning on continuing so the next part should be longer...

**How...**

Why is accepting so hard?  
So hard that I can't breathe chest.  
It feels like something tight is wrapped around my  
Enabling me from relaxing, even from functioning normal.  
Goddess, I want to cry! I want to scream!  
But if I start now I'll never be able to stop.  
Why does getting hurt by the ones you love hurt so much?  
How is it possible for someone to rip your heart out?  
When in real life it is still right there inside your chest.

Unconsciously I place me hand over heart. _"Yes, you're still there"_  
I'm slightly surprised by this fact, and that I'm not imagining things.  
Though I badly want to wake up from this nightmare.  
I badly want this to be nothing but a bad dream.

Hunter why have you betrayed me?  
Why like this….  
First Carl, and now you!  
You promised never to hurt me, never to do me wrong.  
I believed you…  
Little did I know it was only a lie.  
A big fat lie.  
I hate you!  
How much can a person take?  
How much do you think I'm capable of dealing with?  
The answer to that…  
Only, so much….

"_Morgan?"  
_"_Earth to Morgan"  
_"_Morgan if you are in there please answer, for you are about to drive through a red light!"  
_I feel something crushing my right foot.  
The pain it causes brings me back to reality within seconds.  
Waking up, I'm just in time to see the large truck crossing the junction I was about to hit without looking either left or right.  
Left of me, I feel the red light glaring at me dangerously.  
I know I'm not allowed to drive through it but I almost did.  
Goddess I could have killed us both…  
Mary K, my sweet little sister..  
I could have killed her if she had not stopped the car for me.  
Then our parents would have found my cute little car, wrapped around the front of that truck, with us still in it.  
And they would have lost two of their girls, all because of me.  
How could I…  
I have to stay...  
Goddess, it's not only my life here that is at stake, but also that of my sister, my parents, friends and that truck drive  
I have to keep my eyes on the road.  
I just have to…

Next to me I feel Mary K eying me warily.  
Unsure of what my next actions will be she just sits there and waits, preparing herself what is to come.  
When the light hit green I pull up and quickly pull over again into the nearest parking space, before breaking down.

_  
It is so hard….  
It is so hard to forget…  
To pretend the pain does not exits  
Please make it go away!_

"_Morgan?"  
_"_Morgan, what's wrong?"  
_"_Morgan, please tell me what's wrong?"  
_The worried voice of my little sister reaches my ears.  
I want to tell her  
I want to tell her, no need to tell her.  
But where do I start.  
How do you tell someone that the life you have been living up till now means nothing to you?  
That it all seems a big joke?  
That it was nothing you hoped it would be?  
And that it only gets worse as another day passes you by without notice?  
How do explain that life isn't worth living…  
How do you…

"_Hunter and I are through"  
_Bitter tears suddenly break free from out the corners of my eyes and dampen my cheeks.  
The water flood has once again been opened.  
A pair of arms gets wrapped around me, hold me, and comfort me.  
And gently voice is trying to sooth me  
Telling me everything will be alright  
That time will heal all wounds…  
That I will love again…  
But will I?  
Will I ever…

_** "Little child, be not afraid  
though storm clouds mask your beloved moon  
and its candlelight beams, still keep pleasant dreams  
I am here tonight  
For you know, once even I was a  
little child, and I was afraid  
but a gentle someone always came  
to dry all my tears, trade sweet sleep for fears  
and to give a kiss goodnight"**_

Those words I hear  
Someone is comforting  
Singing to me  
Someone I belonged to  
Mom….


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sweep, nor do I get money out of writing this...  
hey people, this is my first Sweep story so bare with me please. Also English isn't my native language, so there might be a few gramma and spellings fault in this. I'll try to keep them at a minimum as best as possible though. Thing is I started reading Sweep just a few weeks ago and well I have to admit was hooked from the start. I loved the stories and am very anxious to find out how things will proceed in time.  
My favorite character I do have to say is Ciaran McEwan, that is why this story is about him and of course Morgan, and whomever I see fit to be in it in the near future. I just was grabbed by the way Ciaran asked Morgan to choose between him and the rest. I wonder who the story would have progressed when she had said yes to him, guess that's what this story is kinda be going about.  
I'm gonna set my mind free on this page, and you just tell me what you think of it.. ok... well.. hope you enjoy it... first few chaps won't be that shocking I guess... just bare with me ok...

**How things became to suck even more.**

Oh what a joyful day this was going to be….

A week stretched on, became a month but Ciaran did not return. School was as boring as ever and couldn't really take my mind off of anything. Slowly I was starting to forget Hunter. I had my friends too thank for that. They kept me busy, tried to cheer me up when they thought I needed it. Though as much as they tried, they could not make the pain go away completely. Little by little I started to shy away from people. I had quit my coven. I couldn't continue with our little circles when Hunter was still leader of our group. So I continued to study by myself. Though it did not go as I hoped it would. The warm feeling you got while dealing with a group, was much more intense, than went you held one on your own.  
Robbie and Bree offered to hold one with me but it would not be the same, so I told them no.  
And slowly bit by bit I was beginning to isolate myself from everybody, with only myself to blame. So to cheer myself up a little I took Das Boat and drove to the next town. I was going to visit an old friend and owner of Practical Magick. My favourite shop…

Alyce Fernbrake was standing behind the counter helping some customers. She smiled at me as I walked through the door. I simply waved, knowing she would come to me when she was finished. In the meantime I engrossed myself into the millions of interesting things the store had to offer. I could walk here for hours, get loss while examining all the weird things this place had to offer.

"_Looking for something special Morgan?"  
_the motherly voice of Alyce came from behind me, though it instantly changed to concern when I turned around to face her.

_"What's wrong dear?"  
_Of course she would notice my mood, Alyce always noticed everything.  
Nothing went past the elderly lady. She let me into the small back room where we earlier sat when discussing things.  
She worked silently while putting on a kettle to boil some water, only ever so often ask about my parents a little sisters health.  
When she was done see set the two cups of tea in front of us. I could faintly smell a few of the ingredients she put in there. Lavender and some sort of citrus melange, the rest I wasn't sure of, for it was blocked by the intense smell of the other two.

"_Now tell me what's wrong."  
_I don't know how I was able to hold it in for so long, but the tears were already in my eyes when I finally had managed to choke out that Hunter had recently broken up with me.  
I was crying way too much lately I know, but I always had been emotional. Today would be no exception.

"_Oh Morgan my dear. Everything will be alright. I know you don't believe me right now, but trust me, the sun will come out again, even for you"_

"_But I thought he was the one" _I sobbed quietly.

"_I understand honey, and he won't be the last guy you think that about. But something Morgan, some day you'll find him."_

"_He was my mùirn beatha dàn, if it doesn't work out with him, then it will not work out with anybody."  
_Oh boy, I was getting myself more and more depressed as the seconds past. This was not good.

"_Drink your tea dear, it'll calm you down a little bit_"  
Alyce uttered and sent me a tiny smile while pushing the porcelain tea cup in my direction.

"_I AM CALM!"  
_As my fists landed on the table, the cup was sent flying. Tea spilled everywhere. Lucky for Alyce it wasn't so hot anymore, for most of it spilled over her. But her beautiful porcelain cup fell to pieces on the floor. What followed was a defeating silence, in which I realised, that I had gone too far.  
I had crossed a line somehow, though not on purpose.  
It only showed me how frail I was. How sick I still was of the break up between Hunter and I.  
I felt like a ticking time bomb, one that could go off at any minute.

Later I would realise, that it was not the tremor that my fists against the table had created, that broke the cup.  
But the energy within, that I had forced outwards, that caused this disaster.  
Which had gone completely unnoticed my me.

"_I'm sorry"  
_I muttered feeling ashamed. I could feel myself blushing, and for a few minutes I did not know where to look. I knew Alyce was my friend, but the look of disappointment and fear cut me deep. As if she suddenly saw me as a different person, someone to be feared or something like that.  
It was gone as fast as I had noticed it. Apparently Alyce was going to keep whatever she was truly thinking from me. She just pretended to be real busy with cleaning the mess I had made suddenly.  
Perhaps it was time for me to leave…..

The tears had dried on my face as I now struggled to get out of my seat to offer her a hand. Kneeling down beside her I reached to take the towel from her hands, only to have her pull away from me. Too late Alyce realised what she was doing, too late for her to not break the other part that was still left of my heart. I stepped back, feeling even more broken by her reaction to me.  
I lingered perhaps a bit too long at the door, trying to find the right words to say, but when I did she simply looked up at me, no emotions showing on her face.

"_I am truly sorry Alyce, for whatever I did to hurt you"  
_and with those last words I was through the door.

During the car ride home I kept thinking about what happened. Not really sure how I could find out without asking her flat out. Risking the chance to once again hurt her, hurt myself.

I was done hurting!  
I was done being useless!  
Still I had told her I was sorry.  
I wasn't sure if she had forgiven me, but what else was I to do?

During dinner I pretended everything was fine, though I think my parents suspected something.  
And the way my little sister Mary K kept stealing glances at me didn't help much either.  
It was like they all expected me to snap, like I was some dangerous projectile ready to blow at any moment.

OH was a joyful day indeed….


End file.
